lazy sunday...

gosh, i hate having the feeling like i wasted a day but i tend to do that often. it's like all i do is sit in my room doing nothing at all, while all the while the time quickly passes and i have nothing to show for the day. which of course leads me to stressing and worrying that i have no time to do anything. yet another bad habit that i let go on way too long, making it harder and harder to break.

but really what is there for me to do. i have no idea what i can do here. plus, who can i do stuff with? my mom? sure, like she'd do half the things i'd want to do.

i'm getting lonlier as the time passes. i thought by now i would have made a friend or two. my hopes were that after getting a job i'd meet some new people. but of course everyone at my job is well over the age of 40, maybe even 50 to be honest. and well the only one there that is close to my age is the girl i'm replacing so that really doesn't do me any good. it's weird, i have cousins here, one is even only a year younger than me but i don't even see them. the whole reason we moved to this part of california was because we have family here...and yet, they don't even really come around. i sort of knew that would happen. i was never really close to them and i always thought they were kind of different...whatever that may mean. but really, i thought if anything maybe they would be able to introduce me to people...though honestly, i never seen them with friends really, other than their other family.

so i guess the wait continues as i try to make the best with this situation.

till later.