which came first the music or the misery...

tonight's episode of ugly betty totally hurt my heart. no lie. i guess it's because i've seen myself in that exact situation more times than i want to remember.
more often than not, cruches always seem to leave one crush'd. tonight's episode paralleled, mostly betty's storyline of course, things i've gone through. from the very start of the show, when betty plans the accidental bump-in...yeah, i've done that. it started off cute and sweet, like most crushes do, making me want to have a crush. and he even sang to her. then of course comes the ups and downs. "does he like me?" at one point betty mentions sounding stupid when she's around him...that's totally me. words tend to fall out of my mouth faster than normal and i end up doing things which i later cannot even start to explain (she threw him a party!).
so here's the thing. something i've been thinking about for awhile now...i think i tend to mistake friendliness for something more. i read into things too much and a simple friendly gesture will turn into me attaching myself to someone who isn't even interested. so, sure when betty catches her crush jesse kissing amanda it was painful (hate to say it but i've been there too). but what really got to me was aterwards when betty was telling daniel how jesse called her beautiful and how she should have know he ment on the inside. at that moment i knew exactly what she felt. for months i've been questioning on how i'm not good enough and why didn't he like me.
yeah, this episode really reminded me of how bad a crush can get and why it's a good thing i don't have one at the moment. remember, the last boy i had a crush on was douchebag ****. it's those arty boys you have to watch out for, i tell ya...too bad their the ones i tend to fall for.
all the while i couldn't help but think how all this reminds me of kate nash's song we get on. i worte an entry (my last one) on my old blog about how this song was perfect for my situation. and it's totally perfect for betty's one too...like for real. crazy, how songs can perfectly capture moments in everyone's life. sad though, since a lot of kate's song remind me of douchebag, so i hardly listen to them and more...though they are so good.

We Get On
Simply knowing you exist
Ain't good enough for me
But asking for your telephone number
Seems highly inappropriate

Seeing as I can't
Even say hi
When you walk by

And that time you shook my hand
It felt so niceI swear I never feel
This way about any other guy
And I never usually notice people's eyes but

I conducted a plan
To bump into you most accidentally
But I was walking along
And I bumped into you much more heavily
Than I'd originally planned
It was well embarrassing and
I think you thought that I was a bit of a twat

I just think that we'd get on
I wish I could tell you face to face
Instead of singing this stupid song
But yeah I just think that we might get on

So I went to that party and everyone
They were kind of arty
And I was wearing this dress
Because I wanted to impress
But I wasn't sure if I looked my best
'Cause I was so nervous
But I carried on regardless
Strutting through each room
Trying to find you

And when I saw you
Kissing that girl
My heart it shattered
And my eyes, they watered
And when I tried to speak I stuttered

And my friends were like whatever
You'll find someone better
His eyes were way too close together
And we never even liked him from the start
And now he's with that tart
And I heard she done some really nasty stuff
Down in the park with Michael
He said she's easy
And if your guy's with someone that's sleazy
Then he ain't worth your time
'Cause you deserve a real nice guy

So I proceeded to get drunk and cry
And lock myself in the toilets
For the entire night

Saturday night
I watched channel five
I particularly liked CSI

I don't ever dream
About you and me
I don't ever make up stuff about us
That would be considered insanity
I don't ever drive by your house to see if you're in
I don't even have an opinion
On that tramp that you're still seeing
I don't know your timetable
I don't know your face off by heart
But I must admit
That there is still a part of me
That thinks we might get on
That we could get on
That we should get on
-kate nash

i'm lying...i wish i had a crush right now, haha.

till later.